Chuck Norris will know if you read this

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

I haven’t laughed this hard for a while. I fell off my brother’s couch with tears streaming down my face as I tried to read these out loud to my wife. Here’s a short sample:

• If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
• There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
• When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

My favorite?

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Apparently the man himself checked out the site at some point and identified his favorites. Here’s a sample of Norris-authenticated facts:

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

They’re not all quite that funny, but it’s worth some time.

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