It’s 2am. I’m finally about to go to sleep. Before I can get into the bedroom, though, I hear my daughter whimpering in her bed. Usually, this means she has to go to the bathroom, but not always. So I go in and nicely ask what’s wrong, at which point she thrashes a bit before settling her face into the bedsheets and making what to untrained ears would be a moan. I know what she’s saying is she wants mommy. So as I sit down beside her, I tell her, “Mommy’s asleep, what’s wrong? Do you have to go to the bathroom?”
Many kicks in the leg later, I can hear the rumbling in her chest that is about to erupt into a full-on meltdown. I decide to just pick her up and take her to the bathroom – a tactic that has worked in the past. As soon as I touch her, it’s as if I broke her pinky finger off and stabbed her with it. I’m not exaggerating. The screams are bloodcurdling. But I go ahead anyway and take her into the bathroom, almost loosing her once when her thrashing throws me off balance (I think my foot bumping into the stool next to the sink may finally be enough noise to wake my wife). When I put her down next to the toilet, she runs into the corner, still screaming and won’t let me touch her. My wife, obviously thinking there’s at least one body part broken, comes flying into the hallway, and finally the little banshee runs past me and grabs my wife’s legs, taking the screaming down a notch.
I leave the room at that point, allowing them to continue being with each other. The silence comes within 30 seconds. Then suddenly they’re both back in bed.
Me? I’m all hopped up on adrenaline and really mad because of my complete and utter helplessness in this situation. But I have nowhere to direct all this anger so I’ve just gotta swallow it. And my wife’s mad at me because I’m mad.
This is not conducive to sleep, either.
So here I sit, typing up the story for you to read.
Does everybody go through this stuff?
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Yes, we go through it, although our daughter is 10 and the boy is only 20 months. I’m the one that gets all the anxiety and knotted up nerves from the baby that refuses to settle, though. I keep telling myself “This too shall pass.”
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Jeff says:
November 14th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Tell me the 10 year old is over it!
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tata says:
November 14th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Yes, she is over it. She was never much trouble in the middle of the night unless sick. The boy is another story, though. God grant me the accept the things I cannot change…!
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It seems that there is a patented Mommy Hug which works. Dunno why.
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Jeff says:
November 14th, 2008 at 10:53 am
To quote my 3-year-old… “That’s not fair!” To me or my wife, really.
Oh well, such is life, I suppose.
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Ack!!! I can understand being frustrated. I guess, what I would do next, is instead of taking her to the bathroom when she insists on Mommy, would be to kiss her goodnight and leave the room, closing the door behind you…
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Jeff says:
November 14th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
That’s more or less the plan. Not fair to Mommy, of course, but that’s the plight of being Mommy, I suppose.
I still feel like a bit of a tool in those times, but maybe that’s the plight of being Daddy.
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I sympathize! I have a three year old, and it’s a trial and a blessing EVERY day
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Jeff says:
November 14th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
That’s the truth. Just tonight, in the last 20 minutes, we’ve had happy, singing, little girl, and stubborn, mad crying little girl. Every hour is an adventure.
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10pm and I’m still up with my 3yo who refuses to sleep. Hubby has gone to sleep because she simply erupts into a screaming nightmare at the mere sight of him.
Keep strong, this too shall pass.
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Jeff says:
November 26th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Be sure to tell your husband his reality and mine are parallel. Thanks for sharing. It helps to know I’m not the only one.
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