Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Stating the obvious: women can’t park

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

I know I’m going to get some hate mail, or at least some dirty looks, for putting this out there, but I’m just the messenger. Reality is what reality is.

Women worse at parking than men, study shows

Women are slower and less accurate at parking than men, according to a scientific study that confirms the suspicions of many male motorists.

Female drivers take an average of 20 seconds longer to park their cars but are still less likely to end up in the middle of the bay, the research suggests.

This is a scientific study, people. I don’t make this stuff up.

I’m not sure there is a need to pay grant money for studies like this, though. There’s ample anecdotal evidence. Take, for instance, the episode that begins at 0:45 in this video.

Did you notice the elapsed time for that parking job? Three minutes and 59 unsuccessful seconds vs. eight seconds. Seriously…. how much more evidence do you need?

Also, I love the music in that video. Can anyone (other than my wife, who probably won’t talk to me after this post anyway) name the Disney movie the hook in that song is stolen from?

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Better late than never (maybe): Tuesday TubeWatch

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

Okay, yeah, the day’s almost over, but you know how it is… things got away from me. The dog ate my homework. And then he did this:

So there you have it. Not just a dog on a skateboard… a dog purposefully riding a skateboard. There’s something very calming about that video.

Yeah, it’s been around a long time, but if you haven’t seen it before, it’s new to you…

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Tuesday TubeWatch: the final Watchmen-related post

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

I thought I was done with posting about Watchmen. But then I found this:

There are a huge number of these Marvel vs. DC clips, and a lot of them are really funny.

Anyway… now I’m done posting anything Watchmen related.

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Tuesday TubeWatch: Woman+hot water bottle+weird contest

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Okay, what can I say… I didn’t get to spend any time this week combing the Tubes. I actually have something lined up, but I didn’t get a chance to write the post about it. Instead you get this:

Impressive lung power. Those things are really hard to blow up. When it actually blows, it must take less than a single frame to fly out of her hand and off screen, ’cause it’s just gone. I’ll bet she had a serious headache after that. I get a headache just blowing up a balloon.

Hopefully next week I’ll bring you something a little more interesting.

(By the way, if you think the lack of comments on these Tuesday TubeWatches is going to get me to stop posting them, you haven’t been paying attention for the last three years. I’m used to being ignored.)

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Tuesday TubeWatch: Lego Izzard – Cake or Death?

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

This is a great idea. Eddie Izzard’s Dressed to Kill stand-up routine is hilarious (though profanity laced). Matching the bits with Lego stop-motion animation turns out to be really funny and inventive. These are two of the funnier bits (without profanity).

Empire Building

Cake or Death

If you can get past the profanity, the Death Star Cafeteria is also hilarious…

There’s also a bit he does about American vs. British spelling that’s really funny, but I didn’t run across it on YouTube. If you find it, let me know.

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Tuesday TubeWatch: Ikea and Jonathan Coulton

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

Ever since “Ikea” popped up on one of my Pandora stations months ago, it’s been one of my favorites.

Every time I hear or see words like “Ikea,” “Thor,” or “Norsemen” this song immediately pops to mind. It’s surprising how many times that happens given I live in the US nowhere near an Ikea.

It’s catchy, and it’s funny. (And Paul, if you don’t listen to this one, I will hunt you down.)

Jonathan Coulton, the singer/songwriter, has a lot of other really funny songs. As an ex-programmer, he’s the perfect musician for geeks. Here’s what he says about himself…

In 2005 I left my day job writing software to pursue music full time. To keep myself busy I released a new song on this website every week for a year in a project called Thing a Week. A few of those songs became big internet hits (my folky cover of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back“, a funny video called “Flickr“, a song called “Code Monkey“), and I am now fortunate enough to make my living as a musician.

I write about a lot of geeky stuff because I am a geek. Some of it’s funny, but a lot of it’s not so funny, and even more of it is somewhere in between. I’ve been compared to They Might Be Giants, Barenaked Ladies, Loudon Wainwright III, and other musicians you REALLY LOVE.

Code Monkey could be an anthem for programmers.

Check out his site. There’s a lot of good stuff there. (I mean… he’s even got a song about Zombies… come on!)

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Dr. Horrible: Commentary! The Musical

Monday, January 5th, 2009

Once again, I just have to say this is a genius idea.

All:
COMMENTARY
COMMENTARY
FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS – IT’S A COMMENTARY

EVERYONE LOVES THESE “MAKING-OF”S
THE STORY BEHIND THE SCENES
THE WAY THAT WE GOT THAT ONE COOL SHOT
AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS
WE’LL TALK ABOUT THE WRITING
WE’LL PROBABLY SAY “IT’S GREAT!”
AND THE ACTING — SO EXCITING
EXCEPT FOR NATE

Nathan:
I phoned it in

All:
COMMENTARY
COMMENTARY
SET COURSE FOR WONDER – IT’S A COMMENTARY

Sadly, I haven’t heard it yet. But I just looked through the lyrics. Funny stuff. I need to buy this DVD.

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Dark Knight takes it slow, plus Robot Chicken and Terminator

Friday, December 12th, 2008
The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight

Christopher Nolan, director of The Dark Knight, has stated that he’s in no hurry to make the second sequel to Batman Begins. He has reason to be cautious. Historically speaking, the third installment in a franchise has been, shall we say, lacking. Superman III, Spiderman 3, Terminator 3, Batman Forever, Rocky III, Police Academy 3… need I go on? Nolan’s got the right idea:

“I don’t know why they’re hard to do,” Nolan said. “Maybe there’s so much expectation to them. But I wouldn’t want to do one if it weren’t going to be as good as the first or second. That’s not respectful to the fans… The worst thing you could do now that you’ve gotten the plane back in the air is mess up the landing.”

Thankfully, Nolan is pushing back on Warner Bros., who want to jump ahead, to hold off until he has something worth making.

Interestingly, he also noted that the recently released DVD will not have any deleted scenes including Heath Ledger’s wonderful performance, nor will it have any outtakes. He said he’s not holding back, he just doesn’t have any deleted Joker scenes. He also feels that including outtakes is disrespectful to the actors, who work hard and trust the director to include their best work.

Finally, come January we may get the chance to see The Dark Knight on the big screen one more time. It appears that it’s being re-released to help generate Oscar-buzz and DVD sales.


Speaking of sci-fi action franchises starring Christian Bale… the first full trailer for Terminator: Salvation has been released. Go see it!

"You and me... we've been at war since before either of us even existed."

"You and me… we've been at war since before either of us even existed."

It’s interesting to note that at some point John Conner says that “this is not the future my mother warned me about. Something has changed.” Maybe it’s that better Terminators have been invented than the ones that were sent into the past to kill her or him.  That would explain some of the stuff I’ve been hearing about the Terminator TV series (which I haven’t gotten around to watching yet, unfortunately).

This looks like it will be the darkest entry in the series, which makes sense given that this is the post-apocalyptic time period. All out war with the machines. It will be a special effects extravaganza. Hopefully the story holds up as well.


If you know who Ron Moore (creator of the new Battlestar Galactica), Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog), and Seth McFarland (creator of Family Guy) are, you’ll love this Robot Chicken clip.

Oh, yeah… you also have to realize this is meant for adults, and that it’s way more offensive than most stuff I post here.

And you have to be in the US (sorry… nothing I can do about that. I don’t own Cartoon Network.).

So… if you meet all those criteria, enjoy this!

Robot Chicken pushes the envelope farther than even Family Guy. But I can’t deny it’s funny…

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Programmer English

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Let’s face it… some stereotypes exist for a reason. Even among native English speakers, in general, programmers are not known for their English skills. I know a few who buck that trend, but there are plenty of examples to prove the rule.

For example, while withdrawing a student from a course earlier today, the system sent back this confirmation message:

Withdrawment was successful.

Yeah. That’s a whole new word right there. Thanks for your contribution to the English language, nameless programmer.

Most of you have probably run across these kinds of things as you work with the various computers that permeate our lives. Whether it’s the grocery store self-checkout, the gas station self-serve pump, or the computer in your house, some programmer got the technical part right (hopefully) but let the English slip.

What examples have you seen?

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Your toilet probably flushes in E-flat

Friday, November 21st, 2008

Where would we be without the internet? How would we ever know this kind of amazingly useful information?

Toilet facts:

  • The average person spends three years of their life on the “john”.
  • The average person flushes a toilet about 2500 times a year, while using about eight sheets of toilet paper per day.
  • An estimated 2.6 billion people worldwide do not have access to proper toilet facilities, particularly in rural areas of China and India.
  • Lack of suitable toilets and sanitation kills approximately 1.8 million people a year, many of them children.
  • According to Jack Sims, a further 500 million toilets are needed to bridge the gap in sanitation.
  • The first flushing toilet was invented in 1596 by Sir John Harrington, a British noble and godson to Queen Elizabeth I. He only invented one, as he was ridiculed by his peers, but he still used it for himself.
  • Most toilets flush in the key of E flat.
  • On average, a person will use 22 litres of drinkable water every day flushing a toilet.

Source

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