A Lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play . . . → Read More: How to make $490]]> Yeah, I got this from a chain mail, but it’s the first one to make me laugh out loud in a few years, so here you go…

A Lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

 

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

 

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

 

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

 

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun….”I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00,” he says.

 

This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

 

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”

 

The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

 

Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”

 

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

 

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

 

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

 

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, “Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

 

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

 

Don’t mess with us Seniors.

Awesome.

How many plugs for Tom Hanks’ roles can you spot?

Here are the ones I caught (most were pretty obvious):

I love the spray bottle.

Tom Hanks continues to impress.

Yep.

I’m starting to wonder if there is some sublimation going on, though. Little things are leaking out. They sound completely innocent in delivery, but when you sit . . . → Read More: Our kids adore us]]> For those who are unaware, I have 2 daughters, ages 6 and almost-5 (4 and 11/12ths, she tells us repeatedly). Being the perfect, completely respectful children that they are, we never have to discipline them or anything. The love just oozes out the walls in this house.

Yep.

I’m starting to wonder if there is some sublimation going on, though. Little things are leaking out. They sound completely innocent in delivery, but when you sit back and look at what they’re saying in cold, black-and-white text…

Consider this conversation at dinner last night:

Daughter 2: I love you, Mom. I just can’t stop saying it!

Daughter 1, excitedly: I can!

Now, tonight was a bit different. After I showed my manly prowess by peeling the sealed lid from the yogurt container, daughter 2 looked at my wife and said:

Daughter 2: How did you guys get so strong?!

Mom: Lots of exercise.

Daughter 2: Not Daddy.

She didn’t miss a beat.

If they weren’t so innocent I’d think they were up to something.

(That was actually from fellow Coalition of Awesomeness member Dan’s blog, but I saw it through a post on Facebook, so it counts.)

OK GO has some great videos. Easily some of the most inventive . . . → Read More: Found on Facebook]]> Facebook is a place where absolutely nothing of importance happens. But you do get to see some funny, or at least interesting, posts from time to time. Here are some of the better ones I’ve seen recently:

(That was actually from fellow Coalition of Awesomeness member Dan’s blog, but I saw it through a post on Facebook, so it counts.)

OK GO has some great videos. Easily some of the most inventive stuff out there, from what I’ve seen.

And then there’s this tap-dancing for paraplegics video.

So there you go… the best stuff from my Facebook friends over the last few days. Don’t you feel better now?

Back in college I had the privilege of seeing a percussion group called Nexus perform. It was one of two moments in those years that I just had this goofy grin stuck on my face because the awesomeness just blew me away (the other was when the drummer from the Navy Jazz Band did his drum solo… . . . → Read More: Percussionists: Object lesson for today]]> Today we’re having an installation of “What to do, What not to do” for percussionists.

What to do

Back in college I had the privilege of seeing a percussion group called Nexus perform. It was one of two moments in those years that I just had this goofy grin stuck on my face because the awesomeness just blew me away (the other was when the drummer from the Navy Jazz Band did his drum solo… holy cow that was amazing). I imagine that there were those there who were expecting a different kind of concert, but I was completely enthralled. At the end of the night they did a medley of ‘novelty ragtimes’ on the xylophones. The set up was pretty similar to what is seen in the video below.

For those who don’t know, Ragtimes are very structured and generally at a pretty slow tempo. Novelty Rags are much faster, as evidenced by this Nexus performance. Notice how the lead, Bob Becker, seems to exert almost no effort, yet he’s all over the xylophone (or is it a marimba?) with extreme precision and speed (especially at around the 3:25 mark). Just awesome.

For an even better example, check out the 6:30 mark in this video from the same performance.

I wish I could find some video of some of the other things they did in the show. Really inventive, high quality stuff.

What NOT to do

Then there’s this guy. As someone on Facebook commented, “It’s like Chris Farley had a baby with Animal from the Muppet Show.”

And if you must do it that way, don’t wear that jacket. No doubt the guy has some talent, but come on… while I’m impressed, I’m also a little scared.

Bonus Rag

Since we started out with a ragtime, let’s end on one. One of my favorite rags breaks a few rag rules, I’m sure… but you gotta love it. This is a great concert version of Billy Joel’s “Root Beer Rag” from the Streetlife Seranader album.

I prefer the album version, but he always does interesting stuff in the concert versions of his songs. Here’s the original, plus an interesting a capella cover by a German group called Wise Guys.

Over the years, a few versions have been recorded, but this is probably my favorite update. And the dancing is actually pretty cool, too. I think these guys do a great job.

Then there’s this… yeah, the dancing sucks, but . . . → Read More: Spider-man dances (and so does The Flash)]]> No one has written a super-hero theme song yet that beats the one from the 60s Spider-man cartoon. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some great themes written, but Spider-man’s is the swinging-est.

Over the years, a few versions have been recorded, but this is probably my favorite update. And the dancing is actually pretty cool, too. I think these guys do a great job.

Then there’s this… yeah, the dancing sucks, but The Flash shows up and the end is really funny. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

On Monday night, a fan at a Phillies game ran onto the field during the game. Not an unheard of event. This is the first time for this outcome, however…

The fan, wearing a baseball cap, red T-shirt and khaki shorts, hopped a fence and scurried around the outfield, eluding two security officers in the bottom of the eighth inning against the St. Louis Cardinals. One officer used a Taser . . . → Read More: Philadelphia: City of Brotherly Tasering]]> I absolutely LOVE this story.

On Monday night, a fan at a Phillies game ran onto the field during the game. Not an unheard of event. This is the first time for this outcome, however…

The fan, wearing a baseball cap, red T-shirt and khaki shorts, hopped a fence and scurried around the outfield, eluding two security officers in the bottom of the eighth inning against the St. Louis Cardinals. One officer used a Taser and the fan went down in a heap. Several Phillies placed gloves over their faces and appeared to be stifling laughter at the wild scene.

Associated Press photo

That’s Philly sports in a nutshell, right there. Fans misbehave, cops kick butt, and the players find it funny – and so do I.

And the guy who captured this shot had great timing. The only better shot would be if he took it milliseconds after the guy pulled the trigger.

Look at their faces. The cop is focused. He’s got a “not on my watch” attitude. The kid has suddenly realized he’s over his head. This has gotten out of control. In fact, look a little lower… is that a shadow just below his belt, or has he already experienced the physical results of the intense fear of knowing you’re about to be shot?

You know what else I love about Philadelphia (besides the soft pretzels, which are perfection)? This event will probably not discourage this kind of behavior. In fact, the cop will probably be disciplined. I wouldn’t be surprised if the kid sues the city.

I think they should do this every week or so. Adds a little spice to the game. It’d probably increase ticket sales.

The Oatmeal, while not very old, has become an insanely popular site, and with good reason. It’s really funny.

I first saw it when I got a link on Facebook to How addicted to Facebook are you? and then How Long Could You Survive Chained to a Bunkbed with a Velociraptor?

Since then I’ve been pointed . . . → Read More: Semicolons: the only grammar related poster I’ve ever been tempted to buy]]> Okay, that may very well be the longest title I’ve ever written on this blog. New milestone! Woo hoo!

The Oatmeal, while not very old, has become an insanely popular site, and with good reason. It’s really funny.

I first saw it when I got a link on Facebook to How addicted to Facebook are you? and then How Long Could You Survive Chained to a Bunkbed with a Velociraptor?

Since then I’ve been pointed there a few times. Nothing there, though, is as truly useful as this post without giving up the humor:

That’s just inspired and perfect. And it’s very needed; almost no-one uses semicolons correctly.

Well, okay, there is one other contender for most necessary and useful post from the Oatmeal…

These are important posts that should not be missed. You MUST click on them, read them, learn them, and live them.

None of you have any excuses anymore for leaving comments on this site that contain misspellings or improper semicolon use.

Women worse at parking than men, study shows

Women are slower and less accurate at parking than men, according to a scientific study that confirms the suspicions of many male motorists.

Female drivers take an average of 20 seconds longer to park their cars but . . . → Read More: Stating the obvious: women can’t park]]> I know I’m going to get some hate mail, or at least some dirty looks, for putting this out there, but I’m just the messenger. Reality is what reality is.

Women worse at parking than men, study shows

Women are slower and less accurate at parking than men, according to a scientific study that confirms the suspicions of many male motorists.

Female drivers take an average of 20 seconds longer to park their cars but are still less likely to end up in the middle of the bay, the research suggests.

This is a scientific study, people. I don’t make this stuff up.

I’m not sure there is a need to pay grant money for studies like this, though. There’s ample anecdotal evidence. Take, for instance, the episode that begins at 0:45 in this video.

Did you notice the elapsed time for that parking job? Three minutes and 59 unsuccessful seconds vs. eight seconds. Seriously…. how much more evidence do you need?

Also, I love the music in that video. Can anyone (other than my wife, who probably won’t talk to me after this post anyway) name the Disney movie the hook in that song is stolen from?

So there you have it. Not just a dog on a skateboard… a dog purposefully riding a skateboard. There’s something very calming about that video.

Yeah, it’s been around a long time, but if you haven’t seen it before, it’s new to you…