Caddickisms » Parenting

Telling Time – 7 day challenge

Jeff — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:41:34 +0000

In the 7 day challenge, today’s topic is: Embed a legal youtube clip that I either found today or created myself. Then tell everyone about the clip and related information.

I considered a bunch of different options for today’s post. One was a video of some birds eating berries in the snow in my backyard, but they flew away by the time I got the camera. Probably for the best, though. It would have looked nice, but been boring.

Another idea was to create a video of my wife and I discussing a topic, but I couldn’t come down on which topic and I’m not sure I could have convinced her to do it, honestly.

A few other ideas flitted through my brain, but while I was working yesterday my wife rediscovered a video from a few years ago that we took of the girls one night soon after they had gotten watches. They were constantly telling us what time it was for a while.

The result this time was a bit unexpected.

Can you tell which of the kids is the comedian?

(hey, by the way, remember back on the first day of this challenge, when I said I wasn’t going to pay attention to the 300-400 words requirement? This is me, being rebellious. I’m living right there on the edge. I’m not even going to include filler text or nothing. Nope. No filler text here. You won’t see it, so don’t even look for it. Were I to include it, it might be right around this point in the post, but as I said, I’m not going to bother putting filler text in here. Because, what would be the point, really? Does it add to the discussion? I say no. You may of course feel free to disagree, but I stand my ground on this one. Nope. No filler text will be included.)

Our kids adore us

Jeff — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 23:56:12 +0000

For those who are unaware, I have 2 daughters, ages 6 and almost-5 (4 and 11/12ths, she tells us repeatedly). Being the perfect, completely respectful children that they are, we never have to discipline them or anything. The love just oozes out the walls in this house.

Yep.

I’m starting to wonder if there is some sublimation going on, though. Little things are leaking out. They sound completely innocent in delivery, but when you sit back and look at what they’re saying in cold, black-and-white text…

Consider this conversation at dinner last night:

Daughter 2: I love you, Mom. I just can’t stop saying it!

Daughter 1, excitedly: I can!

Now, tonight was a bit different. After I showed my manly prowess by peeling the sealed lid from the yogurt container, daughter 2 looked at my wife and said:

Daughter 2: How did you guys get so strong?!

Mom: Lots of exercise.

Daughter 2: Not Daddy.

She didn’t miss a beat.

If they weren’t so innocent I’d think they were up to something.

Changes of state

Jeff — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 05:01:35 +0000

I’ve realized something about myself. I hate changing state. That’s at the core of my being. I don’t like the act of changing my current condition. It almost doesn’t matter what my current condition is. I may not even like my current condition that much. I just don’t like going to a different condition.

If I’m asleep, I don’t want to get up.

If I’m awake, I don’t want to stop what I’m doing to go to sleep.

It’s not that I dislike sleep. Once I’m in bed and settled down, it’s awesome. I just don’t like the transition. It’s the reverse problem in the morning.

I love swimming, but I hate getting in the water. Going from a dry state to a wet state is distressing. Once I’m wet I hate to get out of the water.

I also hate getting dirty. I have no problem being dirty, but going from a clean state to a dirty state is very off-putting for me. Once I’m dirty, though, I can happily play or work in that state for quite a while.

It didn’t used to bother me too much to switch from state to state as a kid. I’d jump in the pool without a second thought. Now… I stand on the edge trying to psych myself into jumping in or walk in very, very slowly. I used to be able to just sit down in the dirt and play or walk through some mud, knowing (if I even considered it) that it would wash off. Now… I grab a pair of gloves if I think I’ll be touching something dirty.

What happened? Is this a symptom of age? Is everybody like this, or is it just me?

Stick with me here… this is going to feel like it’s out of nowhere.

I recently reconnected on Facebook with one of my best friends from my school days. Cliff wrote an article for Examiner.com about his visit to Newman Wetlands Center in Georgia. It’s pretty short. Go read it.

Did you go read it? I doubt it. You’re current state is reading this page. I doubt you wanted to go the trouble of changing state to read something else, and then change state again to come back here, even though I told you to and it’s relevant to this discussion.

Well, here’s what he said at the end of the article:

…children today have fewer opportunities to get out into nature than their parents did. They spend much less time splashing in the water, jumping in the mud, catching frogs and salamanders, and using leaves and branches to construct imaginary realms. Increasingly, children are growing up in suburban developments whose doctrines and convenants expressly forbid tree forts and wild spaces in residents’ yards. Where can children go to bond with nature? “Where do the children play?” as a famous songwriter once asked.

There are so few places left in Georgia, and throughout much of the eastern U.S., for children to connect with the natural world. So naturally, those few places open to them are in danger of abuse from overuse, because they are all there is. We need more gaps in the fence, not fewer. We need a lot more places without fences, or “keep out” signs, or wood-chip paths where nature is to be observed at a respectful distance, like paintings behind ropes in a museum.

I have to agree. I’m lucky in that I live in a suburban area that verges on the rural, and there are places around here that I can take my kids to “connect with the natural world,” but I rarely take advantage of them. And I think that’s a big mistake. Growing up, I had a LOT of opportunity to hang out in the woods, play by a stream, swing from trees, and climb rocks. I got dirty. I used my imagination. I also learned a lot, including how to be calm, patient, and observant (primarily while trying not to spook a chipmunk or some other woodland creature I was watching). Nature was not something I observed at a distance, it was something I experienced. I want my kids to have that same opportunity.

To do that, I’m going to have to get comfortable with changing states again. Especially getting dirty.

Best conversation I’ve ever had with my kids

Jeff — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:18:53 +0000

For simplicity’s sake, I’m combining the statements of both daughters (currently 4 and 3).

Kids: I don’t like much boys.
Me: Why don’t you like boys?
Kids: I don’t know.
Me: Oh.
Kids: You’re a boy! We love you! We don’t like any other boys except we love you.

And that’s the way it better stay for at least 15 years.

Three years of yammering on…

Jeff — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 08:48:30 +0000

Three years ago today, at 11:48pm, I wrote these amazingly insightful words:

Check it out…

Friday, December 9th, 2005

Looks like I am officially blogging. I am too cool for words. (Ironic, isn’t it.)

Thusly did this, my first blogging experience, begin. Pretty sad, really, but there you have it. Now here we are, three years and over 400 posts later, and I figure it’s about time I looked back to see if I’ve ever written anything worth reading. (I figure I must have said something worthwhile at some point. It can’t be complete inanity, can it?)

To that end, here is a list of the posts I’ve written over the last three years that I think are worth a second look, roughly broken by category.

Comics (not much to choose from here, really)

An attache case, an underground government, and a Spider-Man on the edge

Corporate World/Learning (there’s too much overlap between these to justify separating them for this purpose)

Technical writers, pay attention
A series reviewing Oprah’s “A New World” online training with Eckhart Tolle: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3
Alice: Through the Monitor (or Creating new worlds for Novices)
How to leave a lasting legacy
Corporate Gaming: Recruiting and Training – this is a subject I should actually get back to at some point.
Media and Technology issues for Learning and Persuasion
Re-igniting Passion – This is a personal favorite
Fight trolls with math!
e-Learning Glitz: Misunderstanding video games
Instructional Design reminders – This one actually shows up in a resource list on The Learned Man

Movies & TV (includes Reviews & Sci-Fi)

Doctor Who reviews: 2005 & 2006, 2007, and 2008
The best cancelled shows
Review: The Second Chance – A movie by Steve Taylor with Michael W. Smith in the lead? Could this possibly be good?
11 minutes ago – I still want to see this full movie.
Review: The Spider-Man Trilogy
Top 10 most quotable geek films
Review: The Prince of Egypt (and a quick review of the trailer)
Review: Crash
Review: Superman Returns
Review: Justice League
Crusade: What would have happened

Music

Hmm… honestly this category is pretty new and I like almost all the posts. If I had to choose just three though:

Other

What futility doesn’t feel like
C.S. Lewis on living by hope
Some people have REALLY short fuses
Stuck in the office (or your in-laws’ house) during Christmas week? – Christmas Specials!
Look out for the edge!? What edge?
Swiping a sirloin is certainly stupid
What I’ve been thinking
Pennsylvania Gas Prices – Find Cheap Gas Prices in Pennsylvania – I actually use this all the time
Does a sex offender live near you?
Impairment while driving on phone > drunk driving and the related Cell phones + driving = drunk Driving
Bryce Zabel: Those who can, teach
Traffic jams
Humility
Stop everything

Parenting

Kids in the movie theater
Facebook points to the past, and I consider the future
Grilled cheese and the science of successive approximation
Little Mommy moments
Heroes?
Little Mommy drops the… um… ball
Bad parenting confessions
The Silence of the Lamb – actually my wife wrote this one.

Personal Finance

Technology

Well, what do you know… that list turned out longer than I thought. I probably wasn’t as judicious as I should have been in a couple categories, but I really think most of those posts don’t get the traffic they deserve – especially the Corporate World/Learning set, though I know the audience for that is limited.

Anyway… I hope you click through to at least a couple of them. It’s been a fun experience to write this stuff for the last three years, and I hope it hasn’t been too boring for you (but then, no one’s forcing you to read this… unless you’re my wife).

Also, if you have any suggestions for things you’d like to see here in the future, please let me know in the comments. I really do like feedback.

Not for the queasy – where to get sick

Jeff — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 02:04:38 +0000

If you’re not a parent or don’t want to talk about the logistics of sickness, move along… nothing to see here.

You’ve been warned.

So after Thanksgiving dinner was over and we were all about to head home, my nephew got sick. Really sick. Suddenly and explosively. And voluminously. It was very surprising, so for a second everyone just stood there not sure what to do. (I feel bad for my nephew, too. Not only is it not a lot of fun to be sick, but to have your entire extended family standing there staring at you when you do couldn’t have helped.)

When people got over the shock and reacted, and it was obvious it wasn’t over yet, the first snap decision that had to be made was where to take him to continue his purge. It’s here that I want to dwell today.

So the options were:

Stay where he was: in the dining room, which he had already soiled, with its hard-wood floor.
Move to the next room, the kitchen, where the dishes were mostly, if not completely, done.
Try to make it up the split-level stairs and down the hallway to the bathroom. The entirety of that trip is carpeted.

On the way home, my wife and I were debating the best action to have taken. My vote was for the kitchen. Her vote was to stay where he was (which, incidentally, is what happened). We both had valid arguments to back up our positions.

My position is: contain as much of the mess as possible with minimal movement and maximum “cleanability.” That means getting to a toilet, sink, or trash can as quickly as possible. In this case, given that the kitchen was one room away, I’d have gone with the kitchen sink. The kitchen trash can was also a possibility, but given the situation it was probably full. Speed is not the hallmark of someone getting sick, especially a child, so it would be the adult’s job to move him/her, even if that means picking them up or dragging them (safely, of course).

My wife’s position is to stay where he was because the mess is already there after the first explosion. Better to clean one location than two.

Her problem with my position is that there’s a real chance the next spew could happen in transit, plus she thought there would be splashback that could escape the sink and cause a larger cleanup. Both valid points, but I stand by my preference.

My problem with her position is that you’re creating a deeper, and probably more significant, mess in the one location. I’d rather clean smaller messes in more locations than a huge, saturated mess in one. It’s also more likely that a significant amount of material will end up coating the sick person and their clothes, which completely grosses me out. As the sick person, one of the worst things to have happen was finally to be done with the unpleasantness and then get a nose full of soiled shirt wiping itself on my hair on its way by. Getting to a container minimizes, if not completely avoids that problem.

So, I leave it to you, the brave few who got through this post, to settle our dispute. Which way would you handle the situation? Vote below, and support your decision (or propose other options) in the comments.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Are all 3-year-olds like this?

Jeff — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 07:48:57 +0000

It’s 2am. I’m finally about to go to sleep. Before I can get into the bedroom, though, I hear my daughter whimpering in her bed. Usually, this means she has to go to the bathroom, but not always. So I go in and nicely ask what’s wrong, at which point she thrashes a bit before settling her face into the bedsheets and making what to untrained ears would be a moan. I know what she’s saying is she wants mommy. So as I sit down beside her, I tell her, “Mommy’s asleep, what’s wrong? Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

Many kicks in the leg later, I can hear the rumbling in her chest that is about to erupt into a full-on meltdown. I decide to just pick her up and take her to the bathroom – a tactic that has worked in the past. As soon as I touch her, it’s as if I broke her pinky finger off and stabbed her with it. I’m not exaggerating. The screams are bloodcurdling. But I go ahead anyway and take her into the bathroom, almost loosing her once when her thrashing throws me off balance (I think my foot bumping into the stool next to the sink may finally be enough noise to wake my wife). When I put her down next to the toilet, she runs into the corner, still screaming and won’t let me touch her. My wife, obviously thinking there’s at least one body part broken, comes flying into the hallway, and finally the little banshee runs past me and grabs my wife’s legs, taking the screaming down a notch.

I leave the room at that point, allowing them to continue being with each other. The silence comes within 30 seconds. Then suddenly they’re both back in bed.

Me? I’m all hopped up on adrenaline and really mad because of my complete and utter helplessness in this situation. But I have nowhere to direct all this anger so I’ve just gotta swallow it. And my wife’s mad at me because I’m mad.

This is not conducive to sleep, either.

So here I sit, typing up the story for you to read.

Does everybody go through this stuff?

Facebook points to the past, and I consider the future

Jeff — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:37:16 +0000

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve recently reconnected with a lot of friends from my high school youth group through the wonders of Facebook. It’s been a lot of fun. There are now over 40 of us, and over 150 pictures, many of which are proof that the 80′s should never return.

But all of those pictures are of teenagers having fun – even the couple that show us in serious mode in Bible studies. We were enjoying learning how to apply the Bible to our lives, and simply being with each other. But most of the pictures are of someone doing something odd or funny (there are a surprisingly high number of cross-dressing photos… almost all of which were part of skits). We had a lot of fun.

Predictably, this has had me reminiscing a lot about those days, and about what it felt like to be a teenager. It’s been a long time and I don’t think about it often. When I do, it’s usually the moments that make me cringe that come to mind. But in truth, it’s a mixed bag of experiences: awkwardness, isolation, triumph, and togetherness all collide in both messy and wonderful ways. I remember the excitement of what it felt like to have a crush on someone, yet be unable to act on it because of fear. I remember feeling inferior in every athletic experience I had (because I usually was), yet thrilled when I somehow pulled it all together to win a game against the top player or be a useful part of a winning play. I remember feeling completely alone in a crowd, until someone caught my eye and genuinely smiled, happy to see me.

Now I’m a father, and in my mind’s eye I’m watching my two daughters grow up to be teenagers. Right now they are two and three years old. They’re playing in the park with their friends. It struck me today that it’s likely that at least some of these same friends will still be around when they reach their teen years. In ten years, will they have a crush on one of the boys they’re playing with now? Will those friends feed or starve their sense of self-worth? Will they be sure enough of themselves to have fun acting goofy, or will they be too worried about what others will think?

Will they want to spend any time with me?

I’m getting ahead of myself. I know that. I can actually influence a lot of those situations with what I teach my girls and how I treat them. I look at those pictures on Facebook and I pray that my daughters will grow up to have the quality of friends and fun that I had.

Happy Father’s Day

Jeff — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:31:11 +0000

For all you dad’s out there, and mine specifically, Happy Father’s Day.

Thanks for all you’ve taught us, thanks for all the fun we’ve had. Thanks for the trips to the parks, the encouragement, and the discipline. And most of all, thanks for not killing us when we put a hole through the car battery (that may only apply to my Dad…).

Thanks for the support and the love.

And now, a message from the . . . → Read More: Happy Father’s Day

Things overheard in my house lately

Jeff — Wed, 28 May 2008 22:35:51 +0000

“Can you tie this to my eyebrow?” [referring to a balloon]

After throwing a blanket over her own head: “POOF! She was gone.”

3-yr old: “You can’t tell me that!” 2-yr old: “Why?” 3-yr old: “You’re not a grown-up!” 2-yr old: “YES I AM!” 3-yr old: “NO YOU’RE NOT!” 2-yr old: “YES I AM!” 3-yr old: “YOU’RE NOT A GROWN-UP; YOU’RE IN A BOOSTER SEAT!!” 2-yr old: “What?” 3-yr old: “You’re in a booster seat. . . . → Read More: Things overheard in my house lately