Of Men and Lightsabers or Not in the Face!

Okay, so I was in line at the check-out counter at Target not so long ago, when I noticed a husband and wife leaving the store. That’s not unusual, I realize. But what caught my attention was the husband — he had removed from their shopping bag a roll of gift wrap and assumed the stance of a jedi.  Then he slowly wielded the lightsaber and whacked her in the back. Again slowly raising his weapon above his head, he dealt a blow to the top of her head.

Now, I couldn’t see the husband’s face but I’m as sure of his expression as if I’d had full view. Because I’ve seen it on my husband’s face. Oh-so-many times. I can’t really describe it, but if you’re a wife whose husband has ever been exposed to the Star Wars universe (or any martial arts movies) you surely know what it looks like.

Nor could I see the wife’s face. But what was notable, even from behind, was her lack of acknowledgement. She neither noticed, nor cared, that she had just been taken down by a skilled master. Could we have seen her face, we would probably have seen eyes rolling. And this is because it happens to her with relative frequency. She certainly knows the Phantom Menace, and wishes he were a little more phantom, and a little less menace.

Let’s look back to the early days of Jeff and Pam’s marriage. I just mean the part where I’m walking up the stairs only to be scared out of my wits because Jeff has jumped out of the closet at me, lightsaber in hand. Again.  Or, perhaps, the days when I still kept those lighters in the house. No, neither of us ever smoked. I mean the ones with the long nozzles that you use to light candles so as not to burn your fingers. However, Jeff mostly used them to annoy me and try to ignite my eye-lashes. (If you look, you will notice a distinct lack of lighters in the Caddick household, dating from that time.)

I have a wonderful husband. He brought me roses the other day. For no reason at all! (Well, it might have been because the roses he gave me on Christmas morning were all but evaporated by the time we got back to our house on the 27th from various Christmas celebrations with family. Maybe.)  The point is, he’s a great guy. But if I had a quarter for every time I’ve been “attacked” by this great guy … Well, let’s just say I’d be driving a newer car.

I smiled when I saw the Jedi Attack in the store this morning. Partly because it brought back memories — old and new. Partly because the husband was totally enjoying himself, in a galaxy far, far away. And partly because I found I had something in common with a woman whose face I couldn’t see and whose name I didn’t know.  Small world, isn’t it?